the lion

Last week I soared. I was relaxed. Things went smoothly. I felt connected to people that I had been feeling distance. Through it all God spoke. What took longest for me to grasp was the balance of life and death. On Tuesday, my friend Beth's grandfather passed away. That same day my small group happened to watch a video sermon talking about mourning and grieving a loss. The result was that a group of guys, who for a few weeks had seemed to be goofing off more than growing closer in spirit, began to open up. We began to look inside ourselves. We began to look inside each other.

In this video, the teacher spoke of a Jewish tradition called "sitting shiva", where friends and family come to visit the person who is grieving and do not say a word. They sit on the floor and are just there. They are there with their friend. No one speaks. When the person they are visiting decides that they want to speak then the others can join in. I thought that was a beautiful idea.

The same day I got a phone call. A close friend of mine called me to tell me that he and his wife are having a baby. This is at the same time that at least 3 other friends of mine are also pregnant.

In one day my mind tried to wrap itself around birth and death. At the same time that one of my friends is dealing with loss, others are dealing with life.

Tomorrow is Valentine's Day, and while people are making their plans, I wonder how this day will look in my future. I hope that God has something planned. I hope that I will experience birth in my future.