Location: Tallahassee - Miami, Florida, United States

Just a guy who loves coffee and shares coffee.

Monday, July 10, 2006

is this thing on?

Wow. Been a bit dead in the blogging world, eh?

I have been in a weird funk lately. Satan seems to really work hard on me sometimes, and the way he gets at me is through feelings of loneliness and insecurity. I start to worry that I am a terrible friend, that I am a burden. I used to joke with my friend Aly that one day I was going to dig a hole in the ground and hide in there, where I couldn't be a bad friend to anyone any more.

Those are the thoughts that Satan has been throwing at me. Add to that the stresses which I tend to hide concerning the Coffee Pub. It is an exciting time, but that means a whole lot of work, and a lot is riding on RJ and me. Now, God is good and we are so not alone in this; and if we truly think about this, none of it rests entirely on our shoulder. However, the brain has a funny way of blowing things out of proportion when it can't respond to reality.

And that's where I end up with the feelings about loneliness and fear that I my friends have had enough of me.

Tonight, in our Parish, we discussed something that I am aware of but rarely accept it as a reality that I allow to exist. God is always present. Heck, I preached on it this past Sunday. We can't invite God in, because God is already here. It US who shows up. It is encouraging to remember that even when I begin to let Satan twist my brain activity, that God is right there reminding me to ignore that liar.

and if I refuse to listen to God, I can still use that to make me a better friend, right? That way, good can come out of what Satan was trying to destroy. Ha! I'll show that bastard!

Well, until the next fit of blogging energy.


Blogger Meagan said...

When I read, "It is US who shows up," I auto-corrected the noun/verb agreement in my head, but realized that the alleged error has some value to it. The way you wrote it, you assume "us" is singular. In the case of a meeting of believers, it should be singular:).
Satan's favorite ploy with me is the same exact thing. Read my last few blogs, you'll get the picture. I'm not as quick to "get it" as you are. I have to be a girl and cry a lot first.

10:16 AM  

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