Location: Tallahassee - Miami, Florida, United States

Just a guy who loves coffee and shares coffee.

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

oh no... comes that sun again.

Anyone who knows me understands that I don't listen to voicemails until my mailbox is full. Today I listened to them because there were 14 of them. A few were from my Student Loan and another was from Blockbuster, but the majority of them were from friends. That word, friend, has a great bit of meaning to me these days. There were 6 words in each of their voice mails that each time it was said there was simultaneously a heaviness in my heart and an impenetrable joy that took over. The words were, "I love you. I miss you." The thing is that when these people say those words I believe them, you can hear in their voice the honesty and the truth behind those words. They are people of great love. It shows in their life and it shows in their friendship.

It is more difficult than I can begin to share to be so far from ones I love so much, ones who remind me of a loving God. Tonight I find it hard to sleep. I wrestle with the realization that their lives keep going and I am not an immediate part of it. I went for a walk tonight, when I normally take my phone and talk to one or more of them, but tonight none of them were available. Yet I still know that they love me.

I have to stop thinking that any moment now they will be here, living in the same city as me. I have to accept it's over. And I hate it.

God please help me overcome these feelings. Please help me find joy, purpose in Miami. Please row my relationships with my old friends, and strengthen them so that they will continue to build each of us up, while helping me meet new friends that will help welcome your Kingdom. But God...if it is possible, please bring them here, because I do miss them so much it hurts.


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