the best of

The past two days have been absolutely incredible. Yesterday started off with an early wake up call where there seemed to be activity all around. Thomas and his brother John were outside starting up a fire from the previous night, Zack was making oatmeal. We sat down and spent time in prayer. What a great way to begin a day; sharing a meal with brothers, praying. The day went on. I worked and I didn't suck. Then I spent time with Gabe at Aladdin's. It had been such a long time since we had done that but it was such a great time; like a year ago when these friendships were new and exciting. They haven't lost that spark. I came home and although our power had been cut off it didn't really upset or frustrate me. Gabe and I took the darkness and candles as a great time to pray together again and end our night the same way the morning began. How incredible is it to be surrounded and living with people who desire that kind of intimacy and passion for God!

Then today I woke up, early again, and joined Zack and Thomas (and Arlo) for roasting coffee. There is something so serene about that place. Maybe it was the haze over the fields were the horses lined the horizon, or the cool enough weather to permit a sweater but not require it, but that plus a book brought peace to my heart.

I then came home to an email that was unexpected yet greatly appreciated. And while it offered encouragement it also brought good news:

http://www.everythingtallahassee.com/node/786

It is truly humbling when God smiles on you and reminds you that things of this world can be quite petty. Following Him is definitely a better way to live.

ordained

What makes someone ordained by God? What gives someone the right to proclaim God's Truth and deliver His message? What gives someone authority in the state to provide services like marriage?

I am a notary. I helped plant a church. I helped lead and teach in this church. I have been involved in the spiritual lives of people over the course of several years. But I do not have a seminary education. I don't even have my undergraduate degree. I haven't been "ordained" by the church in any formal ceremony. So does that make the work I have done or the desire of my heart to serve not "ordained" by God? Is it by the acceptance of man or God that people are ordained and chosen to serve? And who decides whether someone else is ordained?

The Apostles didn't have formal education. Most of them were young men working with their families, yet they were called and did the work of the Lord and they had authority.

I obviously have loads of questions and while I am curious as to the millions of answers I could possibly receive to these questions, I ultimately just desire to seek God and serve Him and those around me. I seek to be humble and loving...whether "ordained" or not...

the Year of Francis and the return to town

So I have moved back to Tallahassee and life is an overwhelming collection of beautiful and intriguing experiences. God is showing me great things and blessing me with relationships and an abundance of love. I spend time daily praying with my roommate. I feel a freedom and a peace I have not felt in a very long time. When the congregation turns and blesses each other with "the sign of peace" that is what I feel. Like those blessings of peace are upon me.

At the same time 2007 was a year with its share of low moments, to build me up, i do believe. I have changed and the changes do not end. I am trying to find my new self in this new skin I feel I am in. I find a draw to Saint Francis of Assisi and I pray that my pilgrimage there this upcoming summer will actually happen. I have found peace with many things and that brings me such joy. Its closure but its another life opening up. Now, as expected this does mean complications and confusion find their way. As I stretch out these new skins, this new life, I have to learn to understand that the old is gone. I sat at Black Dog cafe today with my roommate who now is the Assistant Manager at the Pub. 3 people came up to him asking him about the Pub. It only makes sense, as he is the new ASM. But I sat there and was looked over. The Pub is no longer mine. And while I hate when I am told of the way things sucked when I managed it and want some appreciation of the things I did, I am needing to learn that this baby I created is no longer mine. I was mocked for having that attitude, of birthing a child and having her snatched away from me, but I need to accept reality. And the truth is I have. I love what she is now, and like all things there are its flaws, but you love the being itself and now the faults or the achievements. You celebrate the achievements and correct the faults. So it is with me. I want to celebrate the achievements of my faith and correct my faults. I want to be like Christ. I want to be new and flawless. So that is what I strive for.

I know these thoughts seem scattered but ahh the beauty of stream of consciousness. After all these are my thoughts coming from my brain. And oh that my brain were organized. Perhaps in this, the Year of Francis, I will find some Order.

Peace be with you.