about this blog and muppets

When I began .:making sense of what i got:. my intention was for this to be a blog about what God is doing in my life and in the lives around me, how it is affecting the universe I spin around in, and how amazing it all is. It was not suppossed to be a blog where I can vent my frustrations, etc; however, there are certain times and feelings which are a part of my spiritual journey and are responses to unceasing prayer even though they may be dealing with relationships (with girls or friends) etc.

With that disclaimer, and with another one in the next few sentences, there is a song from a show cast entirely by muppets which really says a whole lot. It says it perfectly to be exact:

There's a fine, fine line between a lover and a friend;
There's a fine, fine line between reality and pretend;
And you never know 'til you reach the top if it was worth the uphill climb.

There's a fine, fine line between love
And a waste of time.

There's a fine, fine line between a fairy tale and a lie;
And there's a fine, fine line between "You're wonderful" and "Goodbye."
I guess if someone doesn't love you back it isn't such a crime,
But there's a fine, fine line between love
And a waste of your time.

And I don't have the time to waste on you anymore.
I don't think that you even know what you're looking for.
For my own sanity, I've got to close the door
And walk away...
Oh...

There's a fine, fine line between together and not
And there's a fine, fine line between what you wanted and what you got.
You gotta go after the things you want while you're still in your prime...

There's a fine, fine line between love
And a waste of time.

what keeps me up

I have this bad habit of thinking I'm everyones father. I wake up in the middle of the night, most nights, to get a drink of water, and I always double check the lights and the door locks. I have ever since moving away to college. I check on my roomates too sometimes, to make sure that they weren't silently kidnapped in the middle of the night. When my friends are struggling through issues, I tend to suffer with them. I wouldn't say this is bad, I mean, its empathy, and I think its a Christlike characteristic, but it is possible, I believe, to worry too much for others.

Please pray for me that God teaches me how to care for others with his love; to suffer when they suffer and to rejoice when the rejoice, but not to be consumed by any of it. Also pray for me that I might become a better example and that the ways in which I have messed up and lead people astray from wise decisions be forgiven and changed within me. Pray that God admonishes me in those areas.

cucumber melon and all that goes with it

i believe in love.

i don't know if i'm one of those "there's only one person out there for each person", soul-mate kind-of-a-guy, or not, in fact, i've usually stayed away from that sort of thinking. i've always told myself that anyone, with enough will power, could make any relationship work. i don't know if i actually believe it when i say that though.

perhaps i have watched too many movies. perhaps i am more a product of my culture than i like to admit. what i do know is that love hurts sometimes. i know that all around us we hear culture saying "love heals" and "all you need is love", but what most of these things fail to teach us is what the heck to do when love is not resolved at a new year's party or when learning portugese doesn't help.

now, i don't want a lesson from pop culture. there are enough examples of divorce and all the wrong things. it's just that when i think about love i know exactly what it is. i know who its with. i see how it will end...if things in the world worked out perfectly. others may not see it. in fact, others usually have all the "right" answers and they usually differ from mine, but sometimes i just wish that God would get on with it and quit stalling.

i watched love actually, finally, after weeks of having certain scenes running through my mind. it is amazing how many different things i felt. maybe circumstances play such a big role in our experience that pure thought gets muddled, but sometimes things get so complicated in my mind, i wish i could just run away and hide. being the kind of person i am, i would probably come looking for people soon after, but that is just something i suppose i will have to learn to deal with. i am learning there are a lot of things i am just gonna have to deal with.

so much to say and so few words

I am so tired. A lot has been happening. Coffee Pub is about have some movement...finally. Construction should begin by the end of this week. Last Thrusday all the the paperwork was submitted and we were given the green light for our permiting. Now we wait the few more days to get the actual permit. I am making some great new friends and getting even closer to some not old but not new ones also. A friend, who has spent the past 5 years in Gainesville and the past 6 months working on a cruise ship on the west coast, may be moving to Tallahassee, if things work out as they should. This past weekend I slept 0 hours on Saturday and 2 hours on Sunday morning.

My body is exhausted, but things are just picking up. I may fly to Miami this weekend to pick up my parents Camry which will be new set of wheeels.

That, I believe, is all that is new. Please pray for me to trust God more and more every day that goes by as that is being tested.